Close your eyes and think about the last time you visited a brand new mom, either in the hospital or at home. Did you call first? If you did, how long did you stay? Did you just sit there and hold the baby and ask about the delivery or did you do something useful, like the dishes?
Here’s a thought, the next time you hear about someone having a baby, let them have their (very short) time in the hospital to rest – they’re paying enough for it – and ask if you can come visit after they get home. When you do visit, don’t sit on the couch and expect to be entertained by the new mom and her baby; clean something, bring a meal or something else useful, DO something.
Why? Because parenting is exhausting. Because it’s the best and worst thing in the world to have a new baby; no sleep, poop like you’ve never seen, breastfeeding alone can be hell. Throw having to entertain people you haven’t seen in months or years into the mix and it’s no wonder our young moms suffer from depression!
We pressure young mommies to do everything in a Pinterest-perfect way, including being ready to entertain the moment your child pops out.
STOP IT! She is learning to do the most important job in the world and no part of that job description includes entertaining you.
My sweet daughter is having a baby next month (we hope, but it could be April) and it breaks my heart to think she’ll have to go through what I did as I learned to do this mommy-thing. If you know her and plan to come visit, please don’t visit her in the hospital, please call ahead and please bring cleaning supplies.
Instead of shaming her, love on the new mommy you know! It will be the little thing you do for the betterment of our society’s mental health.
BTW, I would officially like to apologize to all the new moms I've foisted myself on over the years. I love you and you're awesome.
End of rant.
Here's some more stuff to read:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/randi-hutter-epstein/finally-a-strategy-to-help-prevent-postpartum-depression_b_9133504.html
http://semiproper.com/ways-to-help-a-new-mom/
http://www.scarymommy.com/rules-for-visiting-a-new-mom/
http://www.mommypotamus.com/18-ways-to-help-a-new-mom/
