My Heart's Desires

Today my daily Bible reading led me to this:

Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

I must have actually been listening this morning because I started really considering what the "desires of my heart" could be.

I thought about what is most important to me:

• Healthy, well-adjusted children
• A faithful, loving husband
• Income to provide food and shelter
• Opportunity to cultivate a deeper relationship with Christ
• Close friends with whom to share insights, but mostly just a laugh

I have all these things.

Why, then, am I so discontented? I feel I have just discovered how arrogant I am. I'm sure I'm not alone, and I complain about the sense of entitlement in our society, but I have it too! I'm so ANGRY that I got my college degree (which was really given to me since I screwed off so much in college) and now I don't have a job that's highly paid AND highly satisfying. I'm so ANGRY that God hasn't helped me find another position. In the meantime, I'm paid a good deal of money at a location that is beyond perfect (the center of my world -- 5-10 minutes from my home, kid's schools, my favorite grocery. . .need I go on?); I'm not closely supervised which allows me to do things at my own pace AND do a certain amount of personal business (including reading my Yahoo e-mail, Facebook-ing and writing in this blog occasionally). What the???

Who am I to be discontented? People a world away are DYING because they even say they love Jesus. People around the corner don't have a job or a home. My own brother has dysfunction in his family beyond anything I could imagine -- and he's not a bad guy and is a Christian. What makes me think I'm so special that I should have ALL those things listed above and still not have the "desires of my heart"??? I hadn't thought about it before but God really has given me those things because they ARE the desires of my heart. I have them!! Wow! I'm blessed beyond measure.

I just hope I can remember it when someone here at work gets on my last nerve or I mess up my work for the umpteenth time.

God be with me today and help me to remember how BLESSED I am (yeah, that word is SO over used!!) and those who are NOT!

Thanks for stopping by. K