Being There. . . but not with Peter Sellers

I never saw that movie.

What I'm talking about is something I brought up in a post last September. Being here for my kids as they try their wings.

Mary and Ethan broke up this summer. I should say, HE broke up with HER. This is the first time this has happened to her, as she usually does the breaking and she has been in pretty bad shape.

The rest of the Ham Fam is at Lake Cumberland this weekend with another family camping and boating. But Mary has to work today and tomorrow and, well, I needed to be here. She's been sad and not eating and conflicted and I didn't want to leave her alone. Sara was not happy about NOT staying home too but she kindly went. I am hoping and praying she understands that, when the time comes, I'll be here for her too. I'm also acutely aware of the ways in which I have NOT been here for her lately.

Which leads me to ask myself if I am ever truly here. I want to trust God enough to live each moment. Responding to my environment with only that moment in mind, nothing else.

This week, Sara called me from school and needed me to help her. I don't need to go into details but it was during my lunch hour, which, if you have read any of my other posts, is precious "me" time. I probably don't need to tell you I wasn't particularly nice to her on the phone, and, while I apologized when I got to school, the damage was done.

I tell my children they are my heart but when I respond in that way, can they really believe me? Do I really mean it when I say it?

So, I'm lifting up a prayer for this weekend and beyond but also for this moment. The I'll be in it.