Rant

Okay. So I'm sort of lost in the jungle of job possibilities. I'm over 40 (yeah, hard to believe) and things are narrowing down for me. I can't just quit and find something immediately. I've tried unsuccessfully for 20 years to feel fulfilled with a job. It's just not happening. Especially the paralegal gig. So I found a new job. I put my notice in at the law office last week. I'm returning to what I know and do best -- clerical work. I'll be the Executive Assistant to the President of a company here in Lexington. Cool. However, I had to get through my last two weeks at the law office first.

I haven't been "healthy" since I started the law office job in September. I don't know whether it was the pressure I put on myself to perform and earn what they told me was a high salary, whether it was just general stress from a new job that was very demanding, financial/family stress, something in the building, not exercising or eating right, a combination of all of the above. . . whatever it was, I was sick almost constantly. I called in a lot. Not to take advantage of them, but because I was regretting that I left KET and feeling trapped in a place I could not deal with. Christmas came and they gave all the girls that worked for them pearl necklaces. And we all got bonuses. Some people grumbled. I don't know how much the other employees got, but my check was a nice surprise. I thought, "these people are so generous!" They are bulldogs when it comes to practicing law. But unorganized and distrustful. Nothing leaves the office without being scrutinized by the two partners and no pleading is signed with anyone else's name. No one "writes" letters but them, which means they have to see every piece of mail before it goes out. I had only 2 cases to deal with for the first two months and then I got 10 insurance defense cases -- half of which were either on the verge of closing or were sent for "opinions." The other half had just been opened. I was bored most days. . . and then an event would loom for one of the original cases (medical malpractice) and I would wait and wait for instruction. It would come the day before, sometimes the day of, the event. Toward the end I tried to anticipate the need so I'd be able to get a jump on preparation but that only backfired. I was so frustrated. Still, I did the best job I could do.

Then I gave my notice last week. Through all the words to the contrary, the office became icy toward me -- not everyone, just the partners (a married couple). I started hearing things I'd not heard before, like an unimaginable number of staff turnover.

Last Friday I started to feel flu-ish again and by Monday I headed into the office feeling feverish. I called in sick yesterday and got a call from the office manager saying my services with the law office were considered "terminated." She said they'd mail my check and, I think, asked if I'd mail my keys back -- or something like that. Anyway, I said I'd come in Wednesday (today) to drop off my keys because I needed to pick up my personal belongings. She said okay. About an hour later she called back to say that I was no longer welcome in the office. The partners were afraid if I came in I'd "upset the other girls." The office manager then told me she expected to be in town (there are two offices, one on the other side of the state and that's where she is) Wednesday and would bring my check and collect my things and we could meet to exchange for the keys. I felt so insulted. When I gave my notice, I included a check as reimbursement for the fees they paid so I could become a notary -- which I put off doing because I wasn't sure I was going to stay but was a requirement for the job. Now they were saying they thought I was petty enough to come in and do something stupid in the office. It was disconcerting to say the least.

Well, the office manager called me today to say she won't be in town until tomorrow (Thursday). They are stringing me along for spite now. It's so stupid. I'm putting on a happy face with my family but I feel out of place and out of sorts. I wasn't the best employee in the office but I worked really hard and put a lot of myself into that office. They told me all along I was doing a great job. . . .now I really wonder if that's what they thought.

And now for something completely different. . .

Election 2008

I've been following this election cycle closer than ever. It's exciting for so many reasons and interesting to see how far off the polls will be from the actual voting results for the rest of the primary. I support Obama. Have donated money to his campaign. I guess I'm the exception to the rule. I'm in that age bracket they say is typical for Hillary Clinton supporters. I'm so insulted that the news keeps expressing disbelief that, given a woman candidate and a slate of others, women would choose NOT to vote for the female candidate. Hello! Yes, I want a woman to be president some day, but not just ANY woman! Right now, our country needs a President who will bring us back together -- unite us. We need to be working toward common goals with no party lines and no bickering. Our country's road slopes ever downward and we need someone who can get us working to shore it back up. As smart and capable as Hillary is, I think she is just too divisive -- and I certainly don't want Bill anywhere near a new crop of Whitehouse interns!

It's going to be an exciting year in politics. . .