Time flies. . .
See below for pictures from our cruise if that's what you're here for but I thought I'd ramble for a bit.
As I get older, I feel like my life is like looking through a fan. Not a japanese fan, more like one you make out of paper in kindergarten. I'm watching things go on around me and it all folds in on top of whatever went before. That doesn't make much sense but let me try to clarify. Mary is now 17 years old. I remember her at two -- not just because we have pictures but because I really remember. So we're at the airport on our way home and I see a little girl who resembles Mary when she was about two. So I looked at her and "over" her was Mary at two and then Mary now. I'm sad sometimes because I feel like I missed so much when the kids were small. Now they are moving on and becoming people of their own. Making decisions and choices that I have nothing to do with.
Scary a bit. I'm proud of most of their choices. Hopeful. Sometimes it seems like my life is over. Like I've done what I was supposed to do and now I'm just waiting for the "spectatorship" to start. Watching them make their way. I hate it. I want to go back and start over. I'm sure everyone feels that way.
I don't always feel like this. I don't think it's deep or even different. I'll miss them.
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